Live in the moment

I am so slacking on this whole keeping everyone informed on our little family. So this blog will be the shorter version of what has happened the past couple of weeks. :] Rylan is now 10 weeks old and growing more each day. He is starting to develop his own little personality he coo's and smiles all the time now. I couldn't be more proud of our sweet baby, you most definitely cannot tell he was a month early. He is in the 46% percentile for his weight and they say his head is small and it's 23% percentile. Last time he got weighed he was 12 pounds! and 23 inches he is a little growing machine. He recently had his 2 month check up and he got shots! :[ poor baby. I couldn't bare seeing him in pain so I made his daddy take him back I got sick to my stomach to where I thought I was going to throw up, yeah I'm a bit emotional I'd say. Speaking of my emotions every time on 16 and pregnant when they deliver their baby I cry like a huuuuuge baby. It reminds me of the most amazing day of my life. So other then that Everett has a doctors appointment November 19th, so this month and we're hoping to find out some answers on what has been going on because he has his good days along with the bad but all we can do is pray for his health to get back to normal. I've been still going to Bible Study on Mondays and hanging out with some friends! And, Everett has been busy working as usual then home to spend time with us. We had his friends over the night for me to make them a farewell dinner and for them to xbox it up. I'm so looking forward to our friends getting home from Afghanistan here soon so Everett can have a social life again. I so cannot wait to show off our baby to them so they can finally meet their nephew! Let's see..other then that we really don't got much going on just being a sweet little family. Oh, oh halloween we watched scary movies all day and then went to the Harvest Festival at our church Joshua Springs Calvary Church and it was pretty fun just more directed towards kids who can actually play games then we came home and Ev surprised me with candy and then we watched Casper meets Wendy :) I'm so blessed with my life, I couldn't be more thankful.


Also, lately I've been reading peoples status' on facebook and majority of them are so degrading towards people and just putting everyone down and saying how much they hate their life or how they can't wait for this day,week, month, year to be over. Honestly, embrace life. That's my advice to everyone life is short, I guess you realize that when you live the "military life style" but when you hear about young people dying all the time and saying "see ya later" to people who become more like family then friends you learn to cherish the time you have on this world. Yes, I do believe in Heaven and seeing your loved ones again but while you can be here on earth you should take advantage of the time you have and not rush through it. I also learned having a son I don't want time to fly by yes I can't wait to see Everett at the end of the day but I'm okay with time going slow so I can spend time with my gorgeous son. I feel like everyone is always looking forward to the next hour, next day,next month, next year when nothing is wrong with looking forward to something but you need to live in the moment you are in, not the next. Live your life to the fullest, don't put someone down to make yourself feel better. Calling someone stupid isn't going to make you know anything more, saying that someone looks ugly most definitely doesn't make you any better looking, saying that someone isn't Christan doesn't make you love God anymore, talking about someone doesn't make it a good conversation. I want everyone to look back at their life and be happy and smile. Not look back and wish you could have or should have done something different. You have the power to change it and God has a plan for you and it most certainly doesn't just involve drinking and seeing how many guys you can get to look at you. All of you girls are gorgeous without having to do what everyone else is. I read somewhere, Dress like God is standing next to you and act like you are talking to him. Yes, he is with everyone of us every second of the day but try it and see how much of a better person you will be. You don't feel the need to curse or degrade people. :) I know, I'm not the most positive person on this planet and I don't always talk with the cleanest mouth and dress in a snowsuit. But I plan on making a better me, without all the garbage and extra add ons. :) I'm sorry about the rambling but it's just been heavy on my heart. Be who you are, for you and nobody else. That's the last thing I have to say <3

no matter what this day may bring I will lift my hands and sing; be my everything.

So obviously everybody knows that my family has been going through some hardships lately. Everett was airlifted from Steel Night(which for you non-military people it's basically just training for deployments & such.) last monday for heat exhaustion and they assumed he was having a seizure. They weren't really sure what was going on and I wasn't there obviously so I don't know what happened exactly. But I was at my bible study on monday night like usual and I looked at my phone to have a million missed calls and texts and the first text I read was I'm in the hospital-call me. and I was like, oh my word. My first reaction was to get Rylan in the car and drive straight to base which I assumed he was there but I called Everett back and no answer so I called this unknown number back and it was a nurse up at Desert Regional( which is actually the hospital where they sent me for preterm labor back in July) saying that Everett was airlifted there and they weren't sure the reasons. SOO, I started freaking out obviously. And Kelly was holding Rylan and offered to take me and got a prayer group going which was awesome! And then Julie asked if it would be okay for her to come also! But she ended up driving Rylan & I there which I'm so blessed because I couldn't even think straight. So as we're driving there I get a call from Sarah & Chris (which he is in the same unit as Everett.) saying he passed out from the heat but that's all he knew and he was stable so I was like okay, THank God! So we still rushed down there. But when I walked in the room I'm expecting him to be just tired and out of it and just hanging out getting ready to get discharged. But no, he was hooked up to all sorts of monitors and wasn't really even coherent. I just sat down quietly then the nurse walked in said, Everett you're baby boy is here can you see him? and he looked over and I swore seeing him open his eyes was like God's gift at the time. I brought Rylan over so he could see his daddy :) so Ev & I tried having a conversation but he was too out of it to really even talk. So I just let him rest, then out of nowhere he starts having a seizure. My instinct is to start screaming for help, I didn't know what to do. I called the nurse in and was like help him, help him and is basically all I could say before I broke down into full tears..dang it now I'm crying again as I'm typing this. haha But anyways, I couldn't control myself then Rylan got upset so I'm trying to soothe him while I couldn't even calm myself down. So then he got calmed down so I sat back down and just held his hand. I went to check on Julie and let her know I was spending the night at the hospital because he was getting admitted whenever a room was available but only to find out that a nurse told me, I could not stay at the hospital and Rylan was not even allowed to go back to his room. So I start crying then Julie and I figure everything out and Courtney came and stayed me in the hotel room that Lezah got us, which I'm so blessed for. I went back in to tell Everett know and kiss him goodbye, of course I cried. Then we left and I didn't get any sleep but I got a text from Everett that said I love you too and honestly I could have cried of happiness seeing a text from him made me realize he is coherent enough now to be able to text better and he is more alert. Anyways, I prayed as hard as I could. All I could think of as horrible as this sounds was loosing my soon to be husband and my son's father. I was so scared and I never felt so alone because usually Everett is the one who calms me down and he is my support. I had alll the support from all my amazing friends but I felt alone still because my other half wasn't the one soothing me. I couldn't believe that just this afternoon I saw him smiling and happy but when I left the hospital he could barely see me. All I wanted was to be held by him, for him to tell me it's okay and say hey, cheer up I'll be out of here in no time.But the next morning he told me to go back to our house to get stuff for Rylan and I so right then I knew he was okay. I was driving back, the long hour drive. I was listening to this Christian mix cd and something came over me, I felt a huge relief I felt warmness, no not the hot desert heat lol but like God's love around me. Right then, I knew I was getting my prayers answered that Everett would be okay- no need to worry. I knew he was being taken care of and that I could go home and try and get some rest for Rylan's sake. I knew that God wouldn't let that happen to us. As crazy as this sounds, it was like Him showing me that Hey, you need to appreciate your relationship more. You need to let go of the past, you need to move on with me in your heart and that's it. If you can feel my love, your love for Everett will be unbreakable. And that's exactly how I feel now. I try to cherish everyday, I try to live as happy as possible. I try to see the better in things. I tell Everett I love you every chance I get. It makes me want to spread the word of God so much more. He made me who I am, who you are and what we all will be. He showed me that you don't get the time back, you shouldn't wish through everyday. Everyone has all these count downs which duh, we all can't wait for things. But we should really just cherish that second we have, that moment in time. I think we should be truly thankful we live such an amazing life, as crazy as it is sometimes and when you think you will never get through it, you will. As long as you have God in your heart, you have everything. Someone out there has it just as bad, if not worse then you. There is someone who just begging for what you have and some people just take it for granite and let me tell you, I was one of the people. But now, I live in God's name. I live for Everett, my son and my family. Never take anyone for granite and it's crazy that it can take hitting rock bottom where you feel like you could loose someone before you realize how strong your love for them is. I don't even want to be without Everett, he is my perfect soulmate.What I'm trying to get at is, love with all your heart and believe that God has a plan for you. Let him guide you in your life, he has it under control. Let go of your worries and fears you are so well taken care of whether you believe in Him or not. Life is too short to just wish it all away, love with all your heart and believe in the Lord it will give you so much happiness in life. :]

check out the song that got me through Everett being in the hospital.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKoOeChXE0Q

6 weeks

Oh my word, I can't believe Rylan is growing up so fast! People say time flies and it reallllly does. But anyways, Rylan is wearing some 3 months stuff and that just blows my mind. He was a month EARLY and he is not even 2 months and wearing big boy stuff :] I'm so proud of him. He is so healthy! He tries to lift his head back to look at you and if he sees your hand he tries to reach for it even though he misses terribly it's still so amazing to see him try. He has been even more cuddly lately and wants to nurse allll the time. I think he is going through a growth spurt. The past couple of nights he has been only waking up 2-3 times a night which has been fabulous. Except, the other morning he though 5 am was a good time to wake up for like 2 hours. Ummm no thanks hahah. He smiles a little bit more now :] Finally, someone else noticed his blue eyes without me saying it. I was so excited to hear it! But nothing else has really happened with the past week, besides him growing growing growing!

5 weeks old

My sweet little baby is 5 weeks old! :( I can't believe how fast time flies. He is completley grown out of newborn diapers the hospital gave me some when we were there for everett and the about snapped off of him! haha. He is now wearing size 1-2 :) and he is wearing 0-3 months clothes. Some of it is still a little big but for the most part fit him pretty good! His newborn onesies are a little snug now. I seriously can't believe how big he is! He is 10 pounds 2.6 oz, he is in the 34 percentile for weight! He is fighting a cold right now, he has a little mucus but that's about it. They gave us saline for his nose to help him breath better. He loves going for car rides if he is fussy and then we have to go somewhere he passes out as soon as we get him in the car. He also LOVESS music, if music is playing it soothes him but as soon as it turns off he gets mad usually especially on his swing or little vibrating chair. I guess he is taking after his mama with that one. He has been sleeping pretty good through out the night, some nights still every 1-2 hours but others 2-3 and eating a lot more. He is probably about 3 oz now but lately I have been mainly breastfeeding cause I haven't had the time to be a mini cow and pump lol. He loves cuddling and I love it too :)

Time Flies

Wow. I cannot believe my sweet baby is already a month old! I want to just stop time and savor every moment possible but obviously I can't do that so I'm just living in the moments. I looooove being a mommy! It's like the best thing that I could ever even imagine! He is getting so big! Every else think's he is so precious and tiny which duh he is precious but he is so big to us! He is growing growing growing and I want him to stop and just be my little snuggle buggy for forever! He is staying awake for about 2-3 hours at a time sometimes usually from 7am till whenever then at night before bed he stays up a good amount of time. He can follow our faces now which is so amazing! He is eating around the clock 24/7 which is hard to keep up with! But it's so worth it to continue to breastfeed. Sarah gave me this tea which I tried tonight so hopefully it works! :] Hmmm let's see..he is also fitting into size 1 diapers now instead of newborns! And, newborn shirts are too small on him but the pants/shorts still fit him. Some of the NB onesies are getting a little snug on him too and he is wearing size 3 months in carters and those look like they are starting to get a little snug too! His hair is still turning light so we will see what color he has ;) and his eyes are still pretty dark so I wouldn't be surprised if they turned brown. He still likes his swing! But would rather be snuggled with mama or daddy! And I can't really think of anything else! He has a new friend, Caleb! :] Can't wait till he can actually play wait yes I can because then he will be big and I DO NOT WANT TO GROW UP hahah. But I'll update more later about us :] Thanks for reading!

Lately!

The past two weeks have been busy busy busy! Of course taking care of Rylan has been our main priority but we have had company since the week he was born. The first week was my my parents! :) My dad & Joanie drove from Michigan stopping a few places on the way and stayed with us from saturday-saturday. We were so busy but had a lot of fun and it was great for Rylan to meet them! We went to Palm springs twice, Big Bear & out to eat in Yucca at the 62 diner! Then the 2 days we didn't go out of town we had doctors appointments. First one was Rylan's week check up which I already updated about and the second was his circumcision which he has fully recovered from. Then we had my post partum check up that took all of 15 minutes and I have another one coming up here soon. We also went to Joshua Tree National park and went and checked out the dam and got frozen yogurt after, so yummy. Then last Friday is when Lezah got here :) Everett was real excited to introduce his son to his mama! But that sunday Everett had to go to the field till Wednesday which was horrible because he was sick, poor guy. But he missed his baby boy terribly! But Lezah & I just relaxed and she helped out so so so so much which was great. And today, we went to church as a family to Joshua Springs in Yucca Valley and I finally feel like God has sent us to the right direction. I'm really looking forward to growing as a Christian family at this church. Tomorrow I plan on attending the Womens Bible Study and I cannot wait to meet other girls and go with Sarah! Which who I am so blessed to finally have met her and husband! Life has been treating us so well lately and I can't wait to see what else it has to offer. I can't believe my baby boy will be 3 weeks old tomorrow, he is growing up way too fast :( I have a WIC apt so I should be seeing how much he weighs so I'll update then. He has been so much more full of energy lately! Right now he is swinging in his swing checking everything completely bug eyed! He has been eating a lot more and wanting to be awake more which I am so glad to see his little eyes. His hair is getting even more light with a tint of red which I don't know where that's coming from hah. But that's all I can think of right now :) We're waiting on Grandma & Grandpa Dutton to get here and we can't wait to see them at all! :D But the bad news of the post; Everett has to go to the field at the end of this month for almost a month! Let's just say we're going to miss him so soso much!

The photo above is Rylan passed out after Church! I love his little polo :)

One week old!

My baby is already a week old today! :( I can't believe how fast time has gone since he has been here but it has been amazing. I love being a mommy! But he is doing awesome! Today he had his one week check up and he is 6 pounds 15 oz and 19 1/2 inches! He is growing like a weed and the doctor said it's like I have miracle grow as breast milk hahah! He said we're doing a perfect job whatever we're doing so that made me feel good. We're waiting to figure out when he can be circumcised because they didn't do it at Hi Desert because "we didn't make arrangements prior." but hopefully it will be within the next week because they won't do it after next week until he is 6 months old due to more risks for infections and stuff. But I want to do it as soon as possible so it's the least painful it can be. My poor guy :( But anyways, the doctor said he looks absolutely perfect and healthy! He doesn't go back till his 2 month check up besides his circumcision. Other then that, he is doing great with breastfeeding and latching on and taking bottles so I'm proud of him! He has been having a little troubles with thinking night is day but we will get that switched around. He's eating more and being a lot more alert so I love the times he is cuddly and when he is eyes wide open checking everything out! But he is loving having his papa & grandma joanie here too! and so are Everett & I. Tomorrow we're going to Big Bear so hopefully Rylan will do good on the drive there and like being by green instead of desert haha! But that's all! :] I'll update later this week! Oh and today I noticed his little eye lashes he is so precious I love my perfect family. Ps. the picture was of Rylan at his doctor today!