Life doesn't have guarantees but always loved by me you'll be

Three months really? I cannot believe it's been three months since I became a mommy to the most gorgeous boy in this galaxy. He is growing up to be such a handsome little man and I couldn't be more proud to be his mother. I love being with him 24/7 and spending all my time with him. He is starting to become more of his own person with his own little personality, it's truly a beautiful blessing to witness. I'm so excited to watch him grow into a man(even though I am okay with that taking for FOREVER.) He is my pride and joy. He is about 14 pounds now and getting the biggest double chin I have ever seen. He likes to sit up and look at everything. He sleeps most of the night now, he wakes up once to eat then right back to sleep he goes. He usually wakes up around 7-7:30 every morning and stays up till 8:30-9 then takes a morning nap. He loves the christmas tree! and of course that makes me happy because I love it too haha! Anyways, he is so perfect to me and I can't believe he just won a Cutest Baby Contest :D Go baby boy!


Dear Rylan Lee,
My gorgeous baby boy you are three months today! Happy monthly birthday! Mama loves you more then anything in this galaxy. You are seriously heaven sent and I am so thankful God has blessed me with your beautiful little soul. You like to look at EVERYTHING and I love it. You're so alert and you love watching where I go no matter who is holding you, you usually have your eyes on me. I love your little coo's and talking to me. I love your smile :D you're so perfect to me and I can't believe how fast time is going by and I really hope it slows down :( I want you to be my little baby for forever. Just remember I will always hold your hand and cuddle you when you need it! I am so proud of you sweetheart and so glad you are catching right up in weight/height and everything else! You sure like to eat a lot so that's probably why. You get super fussy if you don't eat RIGHT THEN but it's okay mama's the same way. Your eyes remind me of paint water (don't worry pretty paint water) because their such a mix of colors and it's gorgeous! Your hair is pretty colorful also, it has brown, red and blonde-ish. Silly little boy can't make up your mind already. So lately you have been liking the Christmas tree and obviously you take after your mama with that one cause your father is the Grinch. You like all the bright colors and ornaments! I wish you could stay little for forever so I can hold you and never let go but obviously I don't get my wish with that one but I will love watching you grow into a man.I can't wait to teach you about the Lord and the meaning of life. I hope I can teach you some good morals and how to treat a lady. I hope I can teach you how to respect your elders and how to clean your room. I hope I can teach you everything you need to know and be there for you every waking second of your life that you need me to. You're the most beautiful soul that I have ever put my eyes on and you will forever be my baby and I will always love you no matter what you do, remember that. Just trust in the Lord and trust in us and we will get you where you want to be in life. I love you so very much baby boy! :) By the way you look so cute snoozing on the couch with your Thank Heaven for little boys blankie. Happy 3 month birthday hunny!

Take a deeper look

29 palms, California.
Most people say they hate it here and cannot wait to leave and how there isn't anything good about this town. But lately I've been seeing it different and after hearing at bible study, you are here for a reason makes me really look into it. When you look around here, God made this town. He made it just like this for a reason and that makes it beautiful, look at the mountains around you and the Joshua Tree's. He made them just like they are, that exact mountain has that many rocks on it because He made it that way. Anything can be beautiful if you appreciate it and I am starting to look deeper into this town and see what it is all about. Like the Joshua Tree National Park people travel the country just to see and some of us haven't even been through it once. Myself have been in a few times hiking and climbing the huge boulders which in the park is absolutely gorgeous. Everyone doesn't realize you will most likely never get this chance again to live in this town which may not sound too bad but why not make the best out of it. This is a life changing experience you learn to appreciate short drives to Wal-mart like back home or grass for that matter. We are all here for a reason and we should all be thankful that we're alive and living and taking in the fresh air( okay, maybe not on base hah) but living every day for what it's worth. Life is short and we only get this day once, not again. We should be living in this moment here in 29 palms and realize most of us will not live in California ever again nor live in the desert so why not make the best out of it and enjoy it. Look for the beauty, like the sunrises and sunsets. Not think of it as only bad, yes we all miss our family back home and hometowns but you will never get this time back. You will never get to experience being a marine spouse again if your significant other doesn't reenlist-which yes I'm looking forward the the civilian world but I know I will miss it someday and why not look back and think of when I made the best out of it rather then complaining. It may seem harder then said but really look at this town that some people call home, look at what can be beautiful and what God created. Life is what you make it and putting this town down and everyone else for that matter isn't going to make your life better. Only you and God can make you better. He knew where you would be at this very moment and who you would be and who you will be. Don't take advantage of what the time you do have here on this world before you go home to the Lord. :)

This has just been heavy on my heart.
Anything can be beautiful, as long as you allow it to be and really look at it.

counting my blessings

So today is officially the best day in a very long time. I could not be more blessed if I wanted to be! God has been answering all my prayers and my families prayers also. First off, Everett, Rylan and I will be home for the holidays in Michigan! it's amazing. We will be landing in Detroit the morning of December 19th and leaving to head home January 3rd! :D pure amazing-ness. This gives us time to be able to visit everyone and hopefully even get to go up north to visit my grandma, uncle and great grandma who will be 100 in May- and is still heatlhy! it's awesome. And this gives more time hopefully for Everett's family to be able to stay more so hopefully that works out! Today our friend got home with the advanced party from Afghanistan and it's so awesome to be able to know he is safe from harm- now only for the rest of them to get home! :D Something else that has been pure heaven sent is my mom and my little brother got a HOME! :D they had to move from their old house to live in my grandma's one bedroom apartment but now they are on their own again in their own house! I couldn't be more excited for them. I could have cried of happiness. So many reasons to be blessed :D


Today is Rylan's 11 week birthday!
This weekend was really bad for him- he was super grumpy and still is. He just wants to sleep, eat and go back to sleep. He hasn't slept this much since he was a newborn during the day. So he must be going through a huge growth spurt my poor baby :( He smiles so much now even when he is grumpy though I absolutely love it. He has the cutest little baby smiles flashing his gums haha.

ahhh if you can't tell I am so beyond excited.
Now time to book our plane tickets and find somewhere for our puppy dog to spend his holidays while we're gone :[ poor guy I'll miss him


ps. The photo above is from when Everett came home for lunch this afternoon :D

most wonderful time of the year

2 updates in 2 days, I'm on a roll ;]
But anyways! I wanted to update everybody on the next couple months for us! That I can't even control my happiness for. This month our good friends are coming home from Afghanistan and we cannot wait! I'm so excited for them to finally meet Rylan. They all took ultrasound pictures of him and now they will get to hold in and see him in person! It's going to be awesome for us and for them. I can't wait for Everett to have his best buds back! And there is THANKSGIVING this month! one of my favorite holidays, for all the yummy food and to just be thankful for everything we have. This year, we're doing a potluck type thing with all my neighbors it will be nice to all get together and eat some delicious food! I can't wait! and Rylan has a super cute outfit for it too! yay! And next month, is going to be the month since August. Everett and I are going to Michigan for the holidays. The rest of my family besides my parents will get to meet Everett and of course my gorgeous baby boy it's going to be amazing! Also, Everett's mama, sisters, niece, nephew & grandma are coming up to see us well mostly Rylan but thats okay haha! I can't wait! And I turn 21 next month but I really don't care to go out and celebrate so I'm not sure what we're going to do it for it. I think I might just make us a dinner at home and hangout with my boys then when we're home go out with my family for dinner and probably order a mixed drink or something. I'm not all about going out and doing the whole shot for shot thing for my birthday so we will see how it turns out. The next couple of months will be stressful but we got this! I think that's about it! I just wanted to write about it cause I'm sooo excited! :D I am so excited for Everett to finally see what Hartland, Michigan really is. He swears that we live in this tiny little country hick town. It's kind of like that but it's noooothing like Omaha Nebraska he is going to be in for a real shock haha.

Anyways,
Happy November everybody! :]

Live in the moment

I am so slacking on this whole keeping everyone informed on our little family. So this blog will be the shorter version of what has happened the past couple of weeks. :] Rylan is now 10 weeks old and growing more each day. He is starting to develop his own little personality he coo's and smiles all the time now. I couldn't be more proud of our sweet baby, you most definitely cannot tell he was a month early. He is in the 46% percentile for his weight and they say his head is small and it's 23% percentile. Last time he got weighed he was 12 pounds! and 23 inches he is a little growing machine. He recently had his 2 month check up and he got shots! :[ poor baby. I couldn't bare seeing him in pain so I made his daddy take him back I got sick to my stomach to where I thought I was going to throw up, yeah I'm a bit emotional I'd say. Speaking of my emotions every time on 16 and pregnant when they deliver their baby I cry like a huuuuuge baby. It reminds me of the most amazing day of my life. So other then that Everett has a doctors appointment November 19th, so this month and we're hoping to find out some answers on what has been going on because he has his good days along with the bad but all we can do is pray for his health to get back to normal. I've been still going to Bible Study on Mondays and hanging out with some friends! And, Everett has been busy working as usual then home to spend time with us. We had his friends over the night for me to make them a farewell dinner and for them to xbox it up. I'm so looking forward to our friends getting home from Afghanistan here soon so Everett can have a social life again. I so cannot wait to show off our baby to them so they can finally meet their nephew! Let's see..other then that we really don't got much going on just being a sweet little family. Oh, oh halloween we watched scary movies all day and then went to the Harvest Festival at our church Joshua Springs Calvary Church and it was pretty fun just more directed towards kids who can actually play games then we came home and Ev surprised me with candy and then we watched Casper meets Wendy :) I'm so blessed with my life, I couldn't be more thankful.


Also, lately I've been reading peoples status' on facebook and majority of them are so degrading towards people and just putting everyone down and saying how much they hate their life or how they can't wait for this day,week, month, year to be over. Honestly, embrace life. That's my advice to everyone life is short, I guess you realize that when you live the "military life style" but when you hear about young people dying all the time and saying "see ya later" to people who become more like family then friends you learn to cherish the time you have on this world. Yes, I do believe in Heaven and seeing your loved ones again but while you can be here on earth you should take advantage of the time you have and not rush through it. I also learned having a son I don't want time to fly by yes I can't wait to see Everett at the end of the day but I'm okay with time going slow so I can spend time with my gorgeous son. I feel like everyone is always looking forward to the next hour, next day,next month, next year when nothing is wrong with looking forward to something but you need to live in the moment you are in, not the next. Live your life to the fullest, don't put someone down to make yourself feel better. Calling someone stupid isn't going to make you know anything more, saying that someone looks ugly most definitely doesn't make you any better looking, saying that someone isn't Christan doesn't make you love God anymore, talking about someone doesn't make it a good conversation. I want everyone to look back at their life and be happy and smile. Not look back and wish you could have or should have done something different. You have the power to change it and God has a plan for you and it most certainly doesn't just involve drinking and seeing how many guys you can get to look at you. All of you girls are gorgeous without having to do what everyone else is. I read somewhere, Dress like God is standing next to you and act like you are talking to him. Yes, he is with everyone of us every second of the day but try it and see how much of a better person you will be. You don't feel the need to curse or degrade people. :) I know, I'm not the most positive person on this planet and I don't always talk with the cleanest mouth and dress in a snowsuit. But I plan on making a better me, without all the garbage and extra add ons. :) I'm sorry about the rambling but it's just been heavy on my heart. Be who you are, for you and nobody else. That's the last thing I have to say <3

no matter what this day may bring I will lift my hands and sing; be my everything.

So obviously everybody knows that my family has been going through some hardships lately. Everett was airlifted from Steel Night(which for you non-military people it's basically just training for deployments & such.) last monday for heat exhaustion and they assumed he was having a seizure. They weren't really sure what was going on and I wasn't there obviously so I don't know what happened exactly. But I was at my bible study on monday night like usual and I looked at my phone to have a million missed calls and texts and the first text I read was I'm in the hospital-call me. and I was like, oh my word. My first reaction was to get Rylan in the car and drive straight to base which I assumed he was there but I called Everett back and no answer so I called this unknown number back and it was a nurse up at Desert Regional( which is actually the hospital where they sent me for preterm labor back in July) saying that Everett was airlifted there and they weren't sure the reasons. SOO, I started freaking out obviously. And Kelly was holding Rylan and offered to take me and got a prayer group going which was awesome! And then Julie asked if it would be okay for her to come also! But she ended up driving Rylan & I there which I'm so blessed because I couldn't even think straight. So as we're driving there I get a call from Sarah & Chris (which he is in the same unit as Everett.) saying he passed out from the heat but that's all he knew and he was stable so I was like okay, THank God! So we still rushed down there. But when I walked in the room I'm expecting him to be just tired and out of it and just hanging out getting ready to get discharged. But no, he was hooked up to all sorts of monitors and wasn't really even coherent. I just sat down quietly then the nurse walked in said, Everett you're baby boy is here can you see him? and he looked over and I swore seeing him open his eyes was like God's gift at the time. I brought Rylan over so he could see his daddy :) so Ev & I tried having a conversation but he was too out of it to really even talk. So I just let him rest, then out of nowhere he starts having a seizure. My instinct is to start screaming for help, I didn't know what to do. I called the nurse in and was like help him, help him and is basically all I could say before I broke down into full tears..dang it now I'm crying again as I'm typing this. haha But anyways, I couldn't control myself then Rylan got upset so I'm trying to soothe him while I couldn't even calm myself down. So then he got calmed down so I sat back down and just held his hand. I went to check on Julie and let her know I was spending the night at the hospital because he was getting admitted whenever a room was available but only to find out that a nurse told me, I could not stay at the hospital and Rylan was not even allowed to go back to his room. So I start crying then Julie and I figure everything out and Courtney came and stayed me in the hotel room that Lezah got us, which I'm so blessed for. I went back in to tell Everett know and kiss him goodbye, of course I cried. Then we left and I didn't get any sleep but I got a text from Everett that said I love you too and honestly I could have cried of happiness seeing a text from him made me realize he is coherent enough now to be able to text better and he is more alert. Anyways, I prayed as hard as I could. All I could think of as horrible as this sounds was loosing my soon to be husband and my son's father. I was so scared and I never felt so alone because usually Everett is the one who calms me down and he is my support. I had alll the support from all my amazing friends but I felt alone still because my other half wasn't the one soothing me. I couldn't believe that just this afternoon I saw him smiling and happy but when I left the hospital he could barely see me. All I wanted was to be held by him, for him to tell me it's okay and say hey, cheer up I'll be out of here in no time.But the next morning he told me to go back to our house to get stuff for Rylan and I so right then I knew he was okay. I was driving back, the long hour drive. I was listening to this Christian mix cd and something came over me, I felt a huge relief I felt warmness, no not the hot desert heat lol but like God's love around me. Right then, I knew I was getting my prayers answered that Everett would be okay- no need to worry. I knew he was being taken care of and that I could go home and try and get some rest for Rylan's sake. I knew that God wouldn't let that happen to us. As crazy as this sounds, it was like Him showing me that Hey, you need to appreciate your relationship more. You need to let go of the past, you need to move on with me in your heart and that's it. If you can feel my love, your love for Everett will be unbreakable. And that's exactly how I feel now. I try to cherish everyday, I try to live as happy as possible. I try to see the better in things. I tell Everett I love you every chance I get. It makes me want to spread the word of God so much more. He made me who I am, who you are and what we all will be. He showed me that you don't get the time back, you shouldn't wish through everyday. Everyone has all these count downs which duh, we all can't wait for things. But we should really just cherish that second we have, that moment in time. I think we should be truly thankful we live such an amazing life, as crazy as it is sometimes and when you think you will never get through it, you will. As long as you have God in your heart, you have everything. Someone out there has it just as bad, if not worse then you. There is someone who just begging for what you have and some people just take it for granite and let me tell you, I was one of the people. But now, I live in God's name. I live for Everett, my son and my family. Never take anyone for granite and it's crazy that it can take hitting rock bottom where you feel like you could loose someone before you realize how strong your love for them is. I don't even want to be without Everett, he is my perfect soulmate.What I'm trying to get at is, love with all your heart and believe that God has a plan for you. Let him guide you in your life, he has it under control. Let go of your worries and fears you are so well taken care of whether you believe in Him or not. Life is too short to just wish it all away, love with all your heart and believe in the Lord it will give you so much happiness in life. :]

check out the song that got me through Everett being in the hospital.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKoOeChXE0Q

6 weeks

Oh my word, I can't believe Rylan is growing up so fast! People say time flies and it reallllly does. But anyways, Rylan is wearing some 3 months stuff and that just blows my mind. He was a month EARLY and he is not even 2 months and wearing big boy stuff :] I'm so proud of him. He is so healthy! He tries to lift his head back to look at you and if he sees your hand he tries to reach for it even though he misses terribly it's still so amazing to see him try. He has been even more cuddly lately and wants to nurse allll the time. I think he is going through a growth spurt. The past couple of nights he has been only waking up 2-3 times a night which has been fabulous. Except, the other morning he though 5 am was a good time to wake up for like 2 hours. Ummm no thanks hahah. He smiles a little bit more now :] Finally, someone else noticed his blue eyes without me saying it. I was so excited to hear it! But nothing else has really happened with the past week, besides him growing growing growing!

5 weeks old

My sweet little baby is 5 weeks old! :( I can't believe how fast time flies. He is completley grown out of newborn diapers the hospital gave me some when we were there for everett and the about snapped off of him! haha. He is now wearing size 1-2 :) and he is wearing 0-3 months clothes. Some of it is still a little big but for the most part fit him pretty good! His newborn onesies are a little snug now. I seriously can't believe how big he is! He is 10 pounds 2.6 oz, he is in the 34 percentile for weight! He is fighting a cold right now, he has a little mucus but that's about it. They gave us saline for his nose to help him breath better. He loves going for car rides if he is fussy and then we have to go somewhere he passes out as soon as we get him in the car. He also LOVESS music, if music is playing it soothes him but as soon as it turns off he gets mad usually especially on his swing or little vibrating chair. I guess he is taking after his mama with that one. He has been sleeping pretty good through out the night, some nights still every 1-2 hours but others 2-3 and eating a lot more. He is probably about 3 oz now but lately I have been mainly breastfeeding cause I haven't had the time to be a mini cow and pump lol. He loves cuddling and I love it too :)

Time Flies

Wow. I cannot believe my sweet baby is already a month old! I want to just stop time and savor every moment possible but obviously I can't do that so I'm just living in the moments. I looooove being a mommy! It's like the best thing that I could ever even imagine! He is getting so big! Every else think's he is so precious and tiny which duh he is precious but he is so big to us! He is growing growing growing and I want him to stop and just be my little snuggle buggy for forever! He is staying awake for about 2-3 hours at a time sometimes usually from 7am till whenever then at night before bed he stays up a good amount of time. He can follow our faces now which is so amazing! He is eating around the clock 24/7 which is hard to keep up with! But it's so worth it to continue to breastfeed. Sarah gave me this tea which I tried tonight so hopefully it works! :] Hmmm let's see..he is also fitting into size 1 diapers now instead of newborns! And, newborn shirts are too small on him but the pants/shorts still fit him. Some of the NB onesies are getting a little snug on him too and he is wearing size 3 months in carters and those look like they are starting to get a little snug too! His hair is still turning light so we will see what color he has ;) and his eyes are still pretty dark so I wouldn't be surprised if they turned brown. He still likes his swing! But would rather be snuggled with mama or daddy! And I can't really think of anything else! He has a new friend, Caleb! :] Can't wait till he can actually play wait yes I can because then he will be big and I DO NOT WANT TO GROW UP hahah. But I'll update more later about us :] Thanks for reading!

Lately!

The past two weeks have been busy busy busy! Of course taking care of Rylan has been our main priority but we have had company since the week he was born. The first week was my my parents! :) My dad & Joanie drove from Michigan stopping a few places on the way and stayed with us from saturday-saturday. We were so busy but had a lot of fun and it was great for Rylan to meet them! We went to Palm springs twice, Big Bear & out to eat in Yucca at the 62 diner! Then the 2 days we didn't go out of town we had doctors appointments. First one was Rylan's week check up which I already updated about and the second was his circumcision which he has fully recovered from. Then we had my post partum check up that took all of 15 minutes and I have another one coming up here soon. We also went to Joshua Tree National park and went and checked out the dam and got frozen yogurt after, so yummy. Then last Friday is when Lezah got here :) Everett was real excited to introduce his son to his mama! But that sunday Everett had to go to the field till Wednesday which was horrible because he was sick, poor guy. But he missed his baby boy terribly! But Lezah & I just relaxed and she helped out so so so so much which was great. And today, we went to church as a family to Joshua Springs in Yucca Valley and I finally feel like God has sent us to the right direction. I'm really looking forward to growing as a Christian family at this church. Tomorrow I plan on attending the Womens Bible Study and I cannot wait to meet other girls and go with Sarah! Which who I am so blessed to finally have met her and husband! Life has been treating us so well lately and I can't wait to see what else it has to offer. I can't believe my baby boy will be 3 weeks old tomorrow, he is growing up way too fast :( I have a WIC apt so I should be seeing how much he weighs so I'll update then. He has been so much more full of energy lately! Right now he is swinging in his swing checking everything completely bug eyed! He has been eating a lot more and wanting to be awake more which I am so glad to see his little eyes. His hair is getting even more light with a tint of red which I don't know where that's coming from hah. But that's all I can think of right now :) We're waiting on Grandma & Grandpa Dutton to get here and we can't wait to see them at all! :D But the bad news of the post; Everett has to go to the field at the end of this month for almost a month! Let's just say we're going to miss him so soso much!

The photo above is Rylan passed out after Church! I love his little polo :)

One week old!

My baby is already a week old today! :( I can't believe how fast time has gone since he has been here but it has been amazing. I love being a mommy! But he is doing awesome! Today he had his one week check up and he is 6 pounds 15 oz and 19 1/2 inches! He is growing like a weed and the doctor said it's like I have miracle grow as breast milk hahah! He said we're doing a perfect job whatever we're doing so that made me feel good. We're waiting to figure out when he can be circumcised because they didn't do it at Hi Desert because "we didn't make arrangements prior." but hopefully it will be within the next week because they won't do it after next week until he is 6 months old due to more risks for infections and stuff. But I want to do it as soon as possible so it's the least painful it can be. My poor guy :( But anyways, the doctor said he looks absolutely perfect and healthy! He doesn't go back till his 2 month check up besides his circumcision. Other then that, he is doing great with breastfeeding and latching on and taking bottles so I'm proud of him! He has been having a little troubles with thinking night is day but we will get that switched around. He's eating more and being a lot more alert so I love the times he is cuddly and when he is eyes wide open checking everything out! But he is loving having his papa & grandma joanie here too! and so are Everett & I. Tomorrow we're going to Big Bear so hopefully Rylan will do good on the drive there and like being by green instead of desert haha! But that's all! :] I'll update later this week! Oh and today I noticed his little eye lashes he is so precious I love my perfect family. Ps. the picture was of Rylan at his doctor today!

As long as I'm living my baby you'll be

August 23rd, 2010 at 10:55 God blessed me with the greatest gift of all time; becoming a mother! It will forever be the best day of my life. And here is the the whole story of how I gave birth to the most precious baby in the world! On saturday, I lost my mucus plug(which I blame the old lady who checked my cervix on friday!) and I was like hmm so I read up about it and saw it was no big deal you can loose your mucus plug up to weeks before you actually give birth but if they're is bloody show you will probably deliver within 72 hours. So, I just let it go. The next morning I lost more of it and I started spotting so I was like hmm! I think this may be it but who knows. Then my contractions got out of control where it hurt to even walk but I had a doctor appointment the next day so I was doing my best to hold it off we counted the contractions and some were pretty close like 3-5 but others were spaced out. Everett insisted that we went to the hospital but I said no unless I can't talk/walk/tolerate the pain we don't need to go. So I was laying in bed watching army wives and I decided I should probably go to bed so I went to lay down and my contractions got so bad I broke down and started bawling my eyes out. I tried to just let it pass and would get up to go to the bathroom and seriously had to like tip toe so the pain wouldn't get even worse well that woke up Everett and he is like we are going to the hospital! So, my neighbor Brandy was like !!! I am driving you to the hospital since her biggest goal in life is to drive a pregnant lady to the the hospital. haha. So about 12:30 am we went and I kept getting really bad contractions the whole way to Joshua Tree which is about 15 minutes away. Then we got there and the lady was all taking her sweet time getting me checked in and being like soo what are you here for? Um, I'm about to have a baby that's why I'm here! hah. But I got put in the wheel chair and brought back to Labor & Delivery got brought into the triage room and put on the monitor they didn't really say how close my contractions were but then they checked my cervix and I was 4cm and 80% effaced so they called Dr. Kasko and he said to admit me. So they brought me into the delivery room and got me all set up and took blood and said once I got the blood work back then they would give me my epidural. That's where it really set in that I was going to have my son soon! So I think by 2am they came in and was like your blood work came back fine, time for you epidural! So the lady came in and I was super scared but it really didn't hurt to awful bad but within 10 minutes I went from in tons of pain to happy! :] so then after I got my epidural in and cathader they checked my cervix again and I was a 6cm and 90% effaced! so basically it was just the waiting game after that. But then Rylan's heart beat started to go down and same with mine a little bit after they gave me the epidural. They had to put an oxygen mask on me and have me lay on my left side until I was ready to push because that was the only position that kept our heartbeats up. They came back in probably around 6am and told me I was 9cm and 100% effaced so they would either wait till my water broke or I hit 10 and would break my water for me. Dr. Kasko came in around 7 or so and told me I was 10 cm and he broke my water for me and had me start doing the pushing exercises to get him lowered and waited for my epidural to wear off more which obviously wasn't fun. I pushed for 2 hours to just get him past my pelvic bone which was insanely painful. I remember going in and out of what was going on. They were putting me in different positions trying to help Rylan come but nothing was really working finally Rylan decided to start cooperating with us! They said they would call Kasko in once his head was visible. Liz(my favorite nurse) and Carmelette(the main nurse) were the ones who were making sure everything was okay then they said to get Kasko there. So I was like yay! about time I will be done with the pain and meeting my beautiful son which I couldn't even believe that was going to happen. Then all of sudden they said we got a respiratory! Get the ER & respiratory team up here now! and was shouting about where Kasko was. I was like don't tell me what's going on because I'll freak out. So they didn't but all I knew was that probably meant he was going to be taken straight from me and transferred to palm springs for the Nicu. But then of course Kasko was taking his sweet time and Carmellete said if Kasko didn't get there she was going to deliver my baby. Finalllly! He came flying in and came over and within 10 minutes I had Rylan! They put him straight on my chest and all I could say is, this is my baby..my baby boy and I kept repeating it over and over. Then they said he wasn't crying so they had to take him. And as soon as he was born I remember looking at Everett and he was crying. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But after that, I had to get stitches and all of that then finally I got my baby boy back in my arms :] He was the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I still can't believe how perfect he is and how much I love being a mother. I will never regret being pregnant or anything like that. He was worth all the pain uncomfortable-ness and weight gain. He made my life coming into this world and I can't wait to raise him! I was pretty lucky though to be in the hospital and have him within 10ish hours of being there and push for 4 hours and released from the hospital 24 hours after I had him especially with him being only 36 weeks and 3 days he came out perfectly healthy at 6 pounds and 7 oz and is 18 3/4 inches long they said if he would have waited a week or two he would have been 8 or 9 pounds :] I love him so very much and I can't wait to share him with my family. My dad & Joanie will be here tomorrow and Everett's mom will be here on the 4th and I am so excited! :D But if you read all this thank you for reading about the best possible day of my life <3

Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you

All I know is Everett Charles Welch is the best man in this entire universe and he truly he is a super hero. He goes above and beyond for me and everyone else every single day. He is perfect in my eyes and I never will be okay unless I'm with him. He is the smile on my face, the laugh in my happiness and he is sparkle in my eye. As corny as all this is, he is my everything. He makes me who I am, he made me the mother who I will be to our son, he makes me the wife I'll be to him and he makes the better person I've became since I've met him. He shows me that life is short and to be happy and not take everything to heart. He has shown me that I should be thankful for everyone around me. Honestly, I could never express in words or even actions in how much I love Everett. I love him with my entire heart if not more then that! He is honestly makes me want to everything possible for him that I can even if that included working my hands to the bone or supporting him till my heart gives out. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with this amazing man and even the afterlife. I cannot wait to raise our son together and kids to come and show them that world may be bad but if you have love everything will honestly be okay, which is what I have learned from Everett. To be honest, I have been through hell and thought I'd be a nobody but Everett has changed my self esteem and shown me that I am not just some girl, I am the girl who will be the mother to his son and the love of his life. I will do whatever in my power to make sure I can keep my boys happy and I can't wait till we can look back at the hard times and realize the only way we made it through is by prayers, strength and love. I am so beyond thankful for everything he has done for us and our soon to be family. He works crazy and stressful hours and gets hardly any sleep but still comes home with a huge smile and comes and gives me a huge kiss as soon as he sees me and tells me he loves me then continues to treat me like a princess. I don't know how he does it but I could never even begin to explain how much he melts my heart and how much I love him. He is my best friend, I've had best friends before but nothing like him. I honestly think I don't deserve someone with such a heart of gold but then again I think I only hope I can be the same for him. I pray to God every night that he will never separate our family and he will keep the love as strong but then I realize it will only get stronger.

I love you, Everett and thank you for being my best friend & soul mate.
You truly are my absolute everything.

My life in a nutshell.

Hey! So I thought I would start a blog so basically I could update everyone about basically my entire life and I thought it will work out pretty awesome once Rylan gets here so I can update everyone on all the things he is learning and doing and basically everything I'm absolutely adoring about him. So, basically whats new in my life lately is nothing to exciting. I can't really do much since I was put on bed rest at 32 weeks pregnant( which I'm now 35 weeks, 36 on this friday!) so I just basically lay around and attempt to clean when I can and make dinner for Ev :] Since so many people asked about what's going on with the doctors and hospital I guess I'll just say the whole story here.

At 30 weeks I was put on the NST machines which is a contraction monitor and monitors Rylan's heartbeat because I told him I was having sharp pains and I really wasn't sure what they are. Well when Dr. Kasko came in to check it out he is like are you having any contractions? and I'm like umm nope! And he is like, uh yes you are. So he prescribed me Terbuatline Sulfate 2.5 mg and I started taking that every 4 hours and was told to come back in a week later. Well, I did and my contractions seemed to worsen but he just sent me home after he gave me a shot of the terbutaline. Well when I went in at 32 weeks he took one look at the contractions and told me to go to the hospital. Everett & I were super nervous but we didn't really show it I think secretly we were both trying to be strong for eachother. But anyways, once I got to the hospital I did the usual pee in a cup, blood pressure and a milllion question game. Then they came in and gave me a pelvic exam to see if I could possibly go into labor within a week- the results came back positive. So they ordered an ultrasound to see Rylan's development so far. He was measuring a week early & weighing approx. 4.9 oz and they said he looked pretty healthy! But anyways, after that they kept me giving me terbutaline shots to get my contractions under control. Which they ended up giving me 6 through out the day. Then Dr. Kasko came in demanding all sorts of things and said that I needed to stay over night. After that, I just hung out and was just wondering what the heck was going on and to be honest, scared to death. Eventually, they gave me the steroid shot for his lungs and basically was preparing me for him to be born early 6 weeks, well technically 8 but 6 would be fullterm. Then they told me that I was going to need to be taken down to Desert Regional which is in Palm Springs because incase I went into labor they had the NICU there to be able to handle Rylan because they didn't have what it took to keep him healthy basically. So after hours of waiting I went on my first ambulance ride to the new hospital. Once I got checked in they just did hourly checks because I had the IV of Magnesium Sulfate and they needed to check my lungs to make sure it wasn't effecting me badly. The next morning I met Dr. Perez and he checked me and all of that. Then they gave me another steroid shot, for the just incase he was born early stuff. Then eventually my contractions eased up so after a 4 day hospital stay I got to go home but on strict bed rest. :] then I went into the Dr 2 days later and basically nothing really happened but then at 35 weeks I went in for my weekly contraction check up and he said, yet again that I needed to go to the hospital. My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and got a little uncomfortable but I could tolerate the pain. But they gave me my terbutaline and just monitored me, got another ultrasound and he looked perfect as usual :] After 3 days, I got sent home. Now I'm just waiting to see what's going on and when I'll have him! Tomorrow is my next appointment so hopefully they are a bit more in control.

Other then the preterm labor crap, there really isn't much going on. All I know is I'm beyond thankful for my amazing amazing amazing love of my life Everett! And, all my friends who have helped me out and been so amazingly supportive through out all of this you guys are truly the best! But I should probably go to bed now since it's 12:30 am and I have to get up at 8 and tomorrow is Everett's first day off in forever! My poor guy has been working all sorts of crazy hours can't wait for this mojave viper support crap to end! Okay, Goood Night!